It has been a busy few weeks. Oh DEAR GOODNESS. I’ve experienced a new level of stress that has started to manifest itself in a physical sense. My new focus in life, aside from that massive commitment called medical school, is to control my stress.

Last week [and this is typical for school] the week was 4 days long and it was intense:
-Cardio final exam
-OMM midterm practical
-planning a Women in Medicine Dinner
-Started a new system, Renal with several hours of physiology

my patients are definitely getting this advice, currently its the #1 thing that makes me smile

This week:
-FELLOWS INTERVIEW! I had my interview yesterday…next one in March. Just a note, the fellowship is a PreDoctoral Teaching Fellowship where medical school is extended by 1 yr and I’ll be teaching that  1 year at my school. I realllllly want it, but 37 people applied for 10 positions and they’re all really qualified people, so ce la vie.
-more planning for both a lecture I’m planning and the Women in Medicine Dinner
-Renal hell continues…really intense
-another patient encounter (2 of them this week 1 psych and 1 neuro) another awesome experience ::sarcasm:: where I actually thought the neuro case was a psych case and proceeded to do the psych exam and NOT the neuro exam…obviously going to lose a lot of points and am now worried I didn’t pass it. Right before I went in, the professor said ‘don’t get confused and think that a patient that looks like a  neuro case isn’t a psych case….’ so that is what I did, I decided they were tricking me and trashed the neuro exam. blah.

i want this shirt now and I'm only 25 % of the way done. too soon?

In the past few weeks Ant’s parents departed, my sister moved back from MA (it was a surprise for me and it was GREAT!), the dog has somehow gotten a nail bed infection and can no longer play with his neighbor friend b.c the little neighbor dog has really sharp teeth. Mind you this dog is about 8 pounds and Rooney is 61, but those little dogs have the sharpest teeth and he nips Rooney all over, leaving him with little scratches. I think if he had a thicker coat, it wouldn’t be an issue, but we’ve got to keep an eye on it.

I’ve been thinking about how to write about the difference between allopathic and osteopathic medicine and so a post will be coming soon. It’s important, people should read all about it and decide for themselves what works for them, but the fact remains that most people don’t even know there are two main kinds of physicians in our country.

I’ve been wanting to write a lot lately, but literally haven’t had the time. For some reason in the past week or so I’ve seen a little more family (probably because the sister just moved back!) and when people ask me, ‘how’s school going?’ I really don’t know what to say. I go between 2 main responses: ‘I really like what I’m learning and feel like I’m in the right place right now’ OR ‘This year got really hard, I wouldn’t say I like medical school, I’m just excited to get done.’ Of course I don’t want to sounds whiney, but both of those are true. Last year I would respond with a more enthusiastic response and it was genuine, but this year I feel like the happiness has been zapped out of it.

For example, my stress manifesting physically, this is new. In all my years of school, studying for MCAT, wanting to get into school, interviewing, shadowing, etc… I’ve never had chest pain and shortness of breath with stress. Of course I’d have a bad night of sleep here and there when I was really overwhelmed, but now it’s an everyday thing. I also have IBS, whose mortal enemy is stress. This means the minute I feel stressed (and I’m sure others can relate) my belly feels it. It starts to hurt, I have to run to the bathroom, I feel nauseous…it’s basically awesome. So I know something needs to change. I’ve been going to yoga more. I’ve been breathing deeper, and I’ve been trying to remind myself of one important concept:

This life is happening right now. Everyday that I spend consumed with stress is a day of my life that I’ve wasted in a sense. I want to be a doctor, but this is not what defines me. I got to where I am and can get through it. But this is my life and I want to be happy.

Sometimes I need some serious perspective…

I feel like he has perspective, look at that smile

basically I need to remember that life is what you make it and I’m often making it more stressful than it needs to be.

I don’t know if anyone reads, but she’s one of my favorites! I love her recipes and I’ve loved following her along her pregnancy journey. She just had her first baby this weekend…55 hours of labor, no c section, and now she has a new little life in hers. THAT’s perspective. Go check her posts out, they’re so honest and enjoyable!

Today and tomorrow are catch up days on my renal homework. I made an appointment with my professor to go over major concepts (only 1 final exam in this course so no space to make a mistake!) so now I’m very motivated to actually get through all of her notes.

Nice hike planned with the pooch later:

oh wait...that was maui....i can daydream right?

Enjoy the weekend!